Competition of one

I've never been one to compete. Although I don't like losing, I've never had an urge to be the best at anything. Perhaps I am content or perhaps I am just lazy. The only formal competition I remember entering was a Tae Kwon Do Tournament when I was about 14. It was my one and only tournament. After a tough match in which I came very close to disqualification for a variety minor transgressions, I came in 2nd place... out of 2. Thus ending what could have been an illustrious career. Aside from my early days as a martial artist whose kicks flew higher than his ambitions I don't recall a time in my life where I was a part of anything that stoked a competitive fire in me. I don't even know what I could have competed in. Perhaps there was a place in competitive rock, paper, scissors for me or maybe, just maybe.. extreme channel surfing.

Although it's easy to blame all those tee-ball games that mysteriously ended in a tie, I attribute my aversion to formal competition to Jr. High and High School gym class. It's not because I was I always picked last. I wasn't. The awkward kid with the coke bottle glasses that avoided changing in the locker room by wearing his 'high water' sweat pants to school (which in turn maximized his nose-picking time between class) usually ensured that I saved a sliver of dignity while waiting in the angst ridden line of the phys. ed. pecking order. No, it was those overzealous ball hogs and JV bench warmers that always took things a bit too far. You know the guys. Taking off their shirts to impress the girls (the ones that walked laps around the gym to avoid sweating or breaking a nail), taking twenty 3-point shots per game and only sinking two, calling a foul after every mishandled pass or errant lay up. My personal favorite was when they would swing for the fences, pop-up to the outfield where Urkel was exiled and score a home run on a dropped ball, a short throw and two errors. The irony of the high fives and chest bumps as they crossed the plate made me laugh more than the errors did. Their ultra-competitiveness and selective sportsmanship turned me off to competition more than my lack of skill did.

So here I am, a guy that has never seriously competed at anything in his life, theorizing about the nature of competition. What do I know? Well, I can relate to competition on a smaller scale. When I trained in Tae Kwon Do decades ago I used to admonish students to not compare themselves relative to others. At least when it comes to technique or ability. Everyone is different, they are at varying levels of ability and rank. You lose appreciation for what you can do and undermine your own development when you only measure yourselves to others. Pretty soon motivation wanes and discouragement sets in when one feels like they just don't stack up.

This is not to say you should not observe others in an effort to better yourself. It's one thing to observe, learn and adapt. It's another to simply judge and push yourself without focus. In anything you do, be it gym workouts, racing, dancing, singing, software development, accounting, marketing, sales or even parenting, it's valuable to watch others that you deem to be successful and learn from them. Just don't value or de-value yourself based on what you what find. But if their 3pt shooting percentage is a hearty 10% just snicker quietly and be on your way.

Try to look for those proverbial intangibles. Effort, focus, determination, attitude. It's these attributes that determine success, whether it's in the gym, the board room or on the production floor. Can you match their intensity to push your limits? There's always a few people at the gym that go all out in the workouts, they finish with great times and try everything at high degrees of difficulty. Can you keep up? Well, chances are, no. Not yet anyway. But do you see them looking around at everyone else? Do you see them stealing so many breaks? You may not be as fast or as strong, but do you work as hard? The aim is to progress yourself from where you are to where you want to be. You can try mimicking what they do, but I gather it is much more efficient to mimic how they do it.

You can even learn from those that aren't at the pinnacle of success so to speak. You can be feeling like a slug, unable to push yourself for another round, glance over at the newbie pushing half as much weight as you, simply grinding it out. What the hell? You gonna let newbie show you up, tough guy? Don't look now but she just went up a height in box jumps. Still not as high as you but when's the last time you raised your height up? Been getting a little too comfortable maybe?

Aside from the intangibles you can learn a lot by observing techniques or habits. Your back always hurts after kettlebell swings. The muscle soreness from Monday seems to creep into Wednesday.. and Thursday. You have a tough time getting started in the AM. Well how is Kareem doing his two arm swings? What's Tom eating after the workout? Why does Sandy seem to have so much energy each morning? How do they do it? (This is not to discount the benefits of a great mentor or coach of course)

Out on the playground, why do some parents seem to be able to corral their kids without the use of sheep dogs, lassos or tasers? Why do some actually look like they enjoy it!?

In the office, why does Bob always seem to get his spreadsheets done on time and how is it that he never misses a lunchtime bike ride too?

In the sales world, why does your competitor seem to be grabbing more market share with an inferior product? Or why is Bob's brother, Bill, outselling you? Look at his smug little face as he joins his brother for a bike ride while you make cold calls. You hope those tight shorts make him sterile don't you?

I like the term 'healthy competition'. It acknowledges the benefits of competition but also alludes to the inherent evils that lurk within it. (play spooky music here) If there is a 'healthy' there must be an 'unhealthy' right? Competition spawns ambition and creativity. It helps one strive to do or be more. It becomes unhealthy when the objective is simply to win at all costs and without regard to others. At its worst, an overly competitive nature can lead one to only find self-worth in winning, not simply achieving.

What healthier way to compete than to compete with yourself? Every time you progress it's a victory. That's not say you should never look to compete with others. Heck, competition is what our economy is dependent on isn't it?! (unless you are a Democrat apparently… kidding, kidding.. a little bit) Competing directly against others can sharpen those intangibles. You retain that focus and you can re-discover that determination. Plus, did you ever notice that you work harder when someone is watching? (Like the cute girls walking their laps - or your crazy coach hopped up on a mix of coffee and cyclocross fever) The folly is when you compete and you feel it was all for naught if you aren't the last one standing. Did you give it your all? If not, then fine. Feel like crap. You should, slacker. Did you give it everything? Did you reach a new plateau? Yes? Then congratulations. You won!

I'll probably never be an Extreme Channel Surfing Champ. Maybe my goals have changed or maybe it's my 'girly' hands. Whatever the reason is, I can accept that I lack the world class endurance it takes to channel modulate competitively. In the meantime, I am looking for my first 5k to run. Perhaps I'll mountain bike too. For fun at least and then see where that takes me. At least I know how to run. The only gears to change are run, run faster, slow down. One thing I won't do is get caught up in my own success or failure. I'll keep my shirt on, only call the blatant fouls and give the guy with high-rise sweat pants an 'atta boy' on my way around 2nd. Heck, just showing up was a victory for him! (Besides, someday he might be my boss)

Changing Channels

'Change' is not simply the act of choosing an alternative. It is a concept that can only be born out of determination, planning and an unwavering commitment to a specific purpose. One can say they will change, one can hope for change, one can wait for change, but unless there is an honest commitment to it, one will never experience it.

The concept is diluted when used as a political rallying cry or as a vague wish of the apathetic. 'Change' is most powerful when it is applied to yourself, your habits or your point of view.

The concept remains the same whether it concerns health/wellness, finances, addictions, careers, projects, processes or politics.

Change is not a blanket with which to shroud an issue. It can't be imposed upon others. Change has to radiate from you.

Be honest...

You're busting out burpees at the gym. You're on the 4th round, you're sucking in air but it feels more like you're breathing under water. You consider cutting out the pushups because you're convinced your shoulders will cave in on the next one. The jump? It's a calf-raise at best, with what appears to be a half-assed attempt at 'the wave' thrown in.

Do you quit? Steal a quick second to catch your breath and move on? Steal a long minute to recover? Fake an injury? Suddenly remember you have to leave early because of a big meeting at work to discuss the shortage of coffee stirrers in the break room?

As someone who has stolen those seconds and minutes before… correction… someone who steals those seconds and sometimes minutes I can relate to the thought process and the excuses that go with it. You begin to question yourself, 'Did I select too much weight?', 'Can I maintain this pace?', 'I wonder if anyone has thrown up in class before.', 'If I don't slow down I won't finish. Gotta pace myself right?', 'Is anyone else having as hard a time or am I doing this wrong?', 'I think I am going to be the first person to puke in class', 'How many rounds left?', 'Will Kevin notice if I drop to a lighter weight?', 'Will it be worse if I get sick on the floor or the chalk bucket, cuz if I run for bathroom I'll probably pass out too.'

I'd like to believe the excuses and musings that eat away at my focus have diminished over time. I'd also like to believe they are fueled by logic and reason as opposed to panic or my inner wuss who's cloaked in my denial. (The word 'cloak' evokes images that suggest my inner wuss dresses like a Hobbit. So my inner wuss is also a dork apparently, therefore, I will name him Bentley.)

When I have pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do, not only did I survive, but I felt exhilarated by it. 3 days of muscle pain notwithstanding. (that was for you, Kevin) No vomiting, no death, no passing out on top of unsuspecting classmates. (which I did in 9th grade during gym class by the way) It's as if there is this point where your body decides it can't convince you to quit so it might as well chip in and stop you from dying. It's like pulling off a band-aid. You tug at it, it pulls at the skin and hair, it hurts, you tug, it hurts some more. Then finally you just yank it off. Sure there's some pain (and less hair) but it's not as intense as it was, it's bearable and you move on.

Years ago, when I ran regularly I noticed this 'band-aid effect' at about the first mile or so. Lactic acid builds up in the legs, the chest burns with each breath and the damn ear buds keep popping out! (Probably not related to this but a pain in the ass anyway) Then your body gets on board and decides to fuel your muscles and get your blood pumping to push you through the next couple miles (I never said I ran distance). There's probably some scientific name for it, it's probably endorphins or some other chemical that flushes the lactic acid out, but to me, it's just time for the band-aid to get ripped off.

When training with full-body, functional workouts, the dynamic nature of the intervals as well as the type of exercises makes it difficult to identify the 'band-aid' point. You're constantly changing the load, the movement and the intensity during your workout. The mental game lasts longer. How do you push through it? Where does your mental toughness come from? Seriously... I don't have an answer for you.

For some people it is part of their character, genetics or some freakish mutant pain threshold. They refuse to give in.. ever. Just look at ultramarathon runners or guys that still wear their Members Only jacket from 1986. Others of us have no idea what our limits are and have either habitually underestimated them or we are too afraid to find out how far we can go.

This has a 'real men of genius' song waiting for it...

"Some guys would have given up when it hit 1990, but not you Mr. Members Only Jacket guy, you said 'Hey, I'm not giving up until I'm the only member!' (background singers - "I think you aaa-are!") So here's to you..."

I believe mental toughness can be learned. It's human nature to stay within a certain comfort zone, to stay with what we know, what is familiar. Sticking to what is familiar got me overweight, lazy, self-conscious and unmotivated. It's only through pushing through the pain, but more importantly through the doubt, that I found the limits were self-imposed and underestimated. That's not to say I don't still place limits on myself or that I have achieved some lofty plane of fitness. Far from it. All I am saying is that I am beginning to recognize the circumstances where I have placed the barriers in front me. What I am working on is how to overcome each barrier, work to the next, then bust it out of the way too. To be honest with myself about what's holding me back.

I wish I could offer you some mental gimmick or mantra to get you through whatever circumstance you find yourself in that requires some extra resolve. I got nothing, but I imagine it's different for everyone. You've got to find it and make it work for you.

For me that inner voice has become rather sarcastic and condescending lately. Now when I think 'I can't do this anymore.' Bentley chides me with the tone of an older sibling, 'Really? You can't? You don't have another one in you huh? Well, I guess we know why mom loves me more than you now don't we?' Ok, so that's not it exactly, the dialogue is a little simpler and more encouraging than that. But it's there.

We don't always have a coach or classmates rooting us on, we have to be accountable only to ourselves. It's always easier to give up when no one is looking. Convince yourself you have a little more left in the tank and step on the gas. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Vacation?!

This won't be my usual rant. Just hoping to inspire (or guilt) others into getting off their butts for at least part of vacation.

I've gorged a little more than I should have the last 2 weeks. I could have eaten worse, but I could have eaten a lot better too. I can't say I have been as active as I would have liked, but I have been keeping up with workouts regardless of circumstances. With all this snow and no snow blower, I think I have plenty of shoveling, sledding and snow ball fights coming my way the next two days to make up for it.

On Monday we drove up to North Conway to stay with family and go tubing on Mt Cranmore. I skipped the 7am workout so we could get an early start. Aside from towing a couple kids around in tubes and an epic snowball fight in the park, my workout of the day was done in a 7x3 ft area between a bunk bed and a closet. (I think this is a more accurate description of a 'prison workout') I brought a pushup bar, a jungle gym, power wheel and jump rope with me. I used what worked best for the circumstances.

This is my 'No excuses' workout for December 28th:

15:15 (15 seconds work: 15 seconds rest) of each for 10 rounds. Rest 2min, then go to next exercise:

Hindu Pushups (with pushup bar)

PowerWheel rollouts

Hindu Squats

Tuck Jumps

Last night was spent partying with great friends and aside from our Wii Bowling Tournament, there wasn't much else for activity unless you count eating, drinking, eating and eating. We were supposed to go snowshoeing for the first time ever today, but with conditions less than ideal and some scheduling conflicts with the kids I was left to improvise once again.

This is my 'I'd rather be snowshoeing' workout to kick off the New Year. a.k.a 'Something I wouldn't even have thought of doing (or been able to) a year ago today':

Alternating ladders - 10,9,8...1 and 1,2,3...10

A1 Down: Pushups (with bar)

A2 Up: Body Rows

B1 Down: Mountain Climbers (20, 18, 16...)

B2 Up: Skiers (2, 4, 6...)

C1 Down: PowerWheel Knees to Elbows

C2 Up: PowerWheel Hamstring Curls

D1 Down: Burpees

D2 Up: Deck Squats

Neither workout took more than 45min including warm-up and cool down. I used minimal equipment (easy to pack and bring along) and I needed little to no space to get it done. They both kicked my ass and I was still feeling Monday's workout during my Wednesday morning gym workout. Although I'd rather be working out at DynamicSC, working out at home does not have to be a compromise. If you can make 'workout' time 'play' time, even better. Play in the snow, save gas and shovel the driveway or walk way or find a 3 year old to follow around for an hour. The latter being the most exhausting and fun. (Of course, make sure you know them and get their parents ok first! It's supposed to be fun, not creepy.) But if you rather have a set plan try this blog out for some great ideas.

It's a New Year, so try something new this weekend. Who knows? Maybe by Jan 1st, 2011 you'll find yourself doing something other than nursing a hang over.

I Resolve to Make No Resolutions

I've never understood New Year's Resolutions. I have yet to meet a single person that has made a New Year's resolution and stuck with it, so it is little surprise to me to hear that the success rate for resolutions is only in the 10-12% range. It's still higher than I expected. I imagine that statistic does not have a margin of error that factors in the percentage of survey respondents that are liars.

You hear the same resolutions every year and in many cases you hear the same ones from the same people year in and year out. But they really mean it this time. "It's 1999, I'm closing out this century debt free!", "2000 is a new millennium and the first step to a million dollars! As soon as I pay off these credit cards.", "2010 is the decade to finally focus on financial freedom! I'll spend less and save more!" It's like that Mac commercial poking fun at Windows 7... It won't be like last time. 'Trust me.'

But as 2010 approaches, once again people are resolving to lose weight, quit smoking, get in shape, pay off debt, save money, give to charity, go on a vacation, listen more, start a new career, volunteer, eat their vegetables, watch less TV, read more books, control their anger... etc etc.

Unfortunately the reality tends to be losing weight by smoking or gaining weight from quitting, joining a gym at the 'New Year's special rate', going in to more debt to pay for vacation, saving money by only shopping at wholesale stores (2 gallons of peanut butter is an investment in peanutty goodness the whole year through), giving an extra dollar to Jerry's kids at the checkout, listening during commercials, adding monster.com to your bookmarks, making excuses to skip the gym, thinking about volunteering but never making the time, adding lettuce to your whopper, cutting your regular shows by 2 (but adding 5 more to the DVR), placing more books on your night stand while racking up the late fees at the library then getting your library card revoked for verbally abusing the librarian when she refuses to let you borrow 'The Total Money Makeover' because you still owe $50 on 'Personal Finance for Dummies' which you've had checked out since last January. But hey, at least you went on vacation.

The absurdity of a resolution on January 1st isn't so much about the failure rate really. We could get into a whole discussion about goal setting and creating a plan for success, two things I am only qualified to discuss in a 'don't try this at home' kind of way, but I'll leave that to the experts. I am simply annoyed by the notion that anyone would let the calendar dictate when they make a change. If you want to give the calendar that much power then screw it. The Mayan calendar apparently says that in 2012 the world is going to end anyway. So max out your Visa and order a double whopper, however... please keep your smoking to the designated smoking areas only and dispose of your cigarette butts in the receptacle provided.

People are often caught up looking for 'perfection'. The perfect moment to start something new, the perfect moment to ask someone out, the perfect job or the perfect mate. Meanwhile, life passes them by. Reality is not ideal, so no one's expectations should be. When is the last time you orchestrated a trip to the grocery store to perfection? (For the record I never have) You ever have to back track to an aisle for something you forgot? The deli line too long? The register break down? Are they out of seedless grapes? You forget to put something on the list? You forget the list? So what makes you think the perfect date on the calendar will make your goals any more attainable?

I understand the notion that a new year signifies a starting over, a new beginning. But for that matter, so does the 1st of any month. Why not resolve to change on March 1st? Or hey, how about a Sunday? It's a new week right? Oh, I know, we have several weeks a month and 52 on the year, they aren't special enough and who counts weeks anyway? Heck, you don't turn a page on the calendar to see what those silly kittens are up to each week. You have to wait until the month is over to see a new snapshot of those adorable little fur balls so no, a week isn't significant enough.

If it's a unique and symbolic date you require to begin your metamorphosis then why not make it today? There's no day that is more unique than the one you are in right now and frankly, today is the only day that exists. It's the only day you have a chance to control. You can conjure up images of the perfect day and visualize everything you are going to do when it gets here but with all due respect to Mr. Rogers, no one's life ever changed in the Land of Make-Believe.

If you're serious, then toss out your smokes. Cut coupons. Kill two birds with one stone and cut your cable TV service. Put down the fat-free Oreos. Get off the couch. Sweat. (If simply getting off the couch makes you sweat, then seek help)

If you are still hung up on the whole calendar thing, open it up right now and check for today's date. Now count how many times it appears from January 1st until now. Is that significant enough for you?

(If you found today's date more than once then it's time to replace your defective calendar. While you're at it, you may want to stop at the library and apologize too. She was only doing her job.)

[UPDATE] Lurg has made an appearance and has helped me realize I totally missed the bigger point I was trying to convey. Resolutions are inherently great, ONLY if you mean them. There needs to be sincerity and you need to be accountable. Don't make a resolution because it's the thing to do or if you're in a fleeting moment of motivation. Don't 'intend' to do it, plan to do it and act.

Take the small changes as wins, not as partial failures. You wanted to lose 50lbs, but only dropped 20? Great! You dropped 20! Now keep it up, but reflect on what you've done and how you can improve. Learn from the success and move forward. Getting side-tracked does not equal failure, quitting when it gets tough or never really trying is. I know, I've been there.

34" for my 34th

As you battle the shopping malls and outlet stores for the perfect gift or hot new toy this holiday season I want you try something new.

As you trudge along, narrowly dodging strollers, pushy perfume peddlers and the endless barrage of bags pulling shoppers in and out of stores (or is it the other way around?), you will inevitably witness a traditional holiday scene that would make The Grinch cringe. A young mother or father with disheveled hair, bloodshot eyes and chocolate milk stained pants trying to reel in their red-faced, tantrum throwing child like a fish at the end of a line. "I want it! I want it NOW!" the darling little cherub will screech. You gotta hand it to 'Mom', she's yelling as softly as she can through a clenched jaw while launching hurried apologies to strangers as she and her demon spawn bump and juke amongst the throng of disgusted and annoyed shoppers such as yourself. It eventually ends with the classic threat 'I guess Santa's not coming to our house this year' but only after she grabs hold of the arm of Junior's puffy winter coat that he deftly slips free of and darts away. Ding, ding, ding! Round Two….


When you witness this scene, I don't want you to be one of those disgusted and judgmental shoppers that sneers as they walk by. I'm also not asking you to help either. Chances are junior has a hard head or a mean left hook and you don't need the aggravation of going home and laying down with a bag of frozen peas between your legs for the rest of the day. Especially since you haven't picked out an obligation... er, I mean present, for Aunt Bertha yet.


What I want you to do is think about how different you are from that child that knows what they want but they refuse to wait for it, or worse, work for it. The idea IS for the kids to 'earn' their gifts through good behavior and good deeds right? You may not throw a tantrum over it or be intimidated by Santa's tattling little elves, but you know you don't want to wait. You want to lose 10-20lbs and you want it gone yesterday. You know you should eat better but the BK drive-through is more convenient than packing a lunch. Discipline and hard-work are often replaced with instant-gratification and easy-to-use gimmicks.


If you can be guaranteed that you will get what you want by busting out of your comfort zone, trying new things and working hard, but it will take months or even years to reach your goals, would you take the challenge? Or, if you are offered a quick and easy solution that may or may not work and the positive effects are not likely to remain long-term, would you take that instead?


I turned 34 on Dec 15th and I have given myself one of the best birthday presents I could receive. I didn't run to Best Buy to get it or find it on sale. I've been working at it for 6 months. It's a commitment to a more active and healthier lifestyle. It's still a work in progress and I have plenty that discourages me from time to time, even today, but when I think back to where it started I can't ignore the pride I feel for what I have accomplished since my first 'intro' class at Dynamic Strength and Conditioning on June 5th, 2009. I intend to re-gift similar achievements to myself every year from here on out.

June 5th 2009:

204lbs
Size 36 pants (loose style, but far from loose… elastic waist and drawstrings were my friends)
Only 2 notches left on my belt before it's too small.
Max Pullups - 1 (sort of)
Max Pushups - 20-25 with bad form
KB Swings - What's a kettlebell?
Max Box Jump - 12"


July 6th 2009 (60 day Challenge begins…):
200lbs
Waist** - 41"
Size 36 pants (loose style) 3 notches left on the belt… the trend begins…
Max Pullups - 1
Max Pushups - 12 with good form
KB Swings - 12kg
Max Box Jump - 18"
**(measured at the belly button so that my love handles get included)

Sept 5th 2009:
194 lbs
Waist - 39 3/4"
Size 36 pants (loose style and feeling it) 4 notches left on the belt
Max Pullups - 3
Max Pushups - 20 with good form
KB Swings - 16kg
Max Box Jump - 36"!!

December 15th 2009:
184 lbs
Waist - 37 1/2"
Size 34 pants (standard fit… wow I needed new jeans! Added bonus… the wife keeps checking out my butt) No notches left on the belt, good thing Christmas is coming.
Max Pullups - 7
Max Pushups - 30
KB Swings - 20-24kg (depends on the type of workout)
Max Box Jump - 42"

Someone asked me the other day if I think I can maintain this weight. My immediate reply without much thought - "I'm not even done. I could probably drop another 10lbs without changing anything I'm doing." Despite their suggestion that I should just be happy where I am at now and insistence that I don't need to lose anymore weight I came to a realization. I'm not trying to lose weight anymore. It's just happening. Although I find it helpful to look at the weight and body measurements as a way to quantify the physical changes I no longer set goals based on such numbers. Sure I'll still check them from time to time, but I won't be controlled by them. It's counter productive to allow yourself to be both encouraged and discouraged by the number on the scale. My response this time was simple (although if you know me, I babble, so I'll just give you the short version) - "I'm not losing weight, I'm creating opportunities to do extraordinary things."


Your achievements provide you with far more satisfaction and motivation to continue to make the right choices and experience things you otherwise wouldn't have. I am not striving for an ideal weight or a waist size (but 34" pants for my 34th is still pretty cool), I'm striving to have the energy and courage to be a stronger and healthier version of me. Someone that isn't afraid to compete, to fail or to conquer a feat I would never have considered before.


Of course, none of this means anything if you don't share those experiences with those closest to you. You hear plenty of the excuses about lacking time to exercise or to make healthier meals/snacks but it seems to me that when you create that time up front, you soon rediscover time, or rather good times, that you 'lost' by changing your priorities.


A few weeks ago we woke up to our first snow storm. The kids were buzzing about the house making plans to help Daddy shovel the driveway (aka 'spread the snow where Daddy already shoveled'), make a snow man, have a snow ball fight, go sledding, drink hot chocolate, go back out for more sledding, make a snow man family etc etc. My coffee was barely done brewing when I was dragged into the cold to chaperon their antics. I distinctly recall last year when I would talk the kids out of staying outside longer than I needed to so I could avoid sledding down the puny hill (more of a bump really) at the side of our house. Mostly because I knew they'd want my help getting back up and I wasn't up for pulling them in the sled, especially after breaking my back hauling away the heavy white stuff. But that wasn't going to happen on this day. With the driveway cleared in record time, I was pushing them down the hill and running back up with all 80-90lbs of the two of them in tow behind me. The snow wasn't sticky or deep enough to build a quality snow dude, but you would have thought there was a blizzard outside the way we were chucking snow at other. For once, I outlasted them. There's one of those 'good times' creeping up again.

I plan to take a similar photo with me and the grandkids one day…

So what am I gonna get myself for my 35th? Well, I expect my pushups and pullups will increase, I'll be able to jump higher and I'll deflate the personal flotation device that sits above my belt line some more. Somewhere along the way I'll try a 5k, maybe dust off my mountain bike, take up snow shoeing and start training in martial arts again. But the ultimate goal? The ultimate goal is a lifetime of memories of adventures with my wife and our kids.

SPECIAL THANKS: It's never easy to go on a journey alone, plus it's never as fun. My wife, Lynne, has been my biggest supporter through everything. She gets the kids to school on her own when I am up and out to the gym before most in the house are awake, she makes sure my gym bag has a towel in it every night, she knows what I want at the store and always make sure it's stocked in our fridge. (She even got me a power wheel for my birthday!) But most importantly, she listens to my rambling, she's exicted for my achievements and she makes it clear her love for me does not waver whether I am 204 or 184. Thanks, Babe! I love you too!

But where would all the cows go?

Have you ever been told you HAVE to do something by someone that lacks the authority to make you do it? It spikes the hairs on your neck, clenches your teeth and yanks your inner 'Hulk' right out of you.

Do you recall slouching on the sofa as your parents gave you yet another sermon on the virtues of a clean room? By age 7 you tuned it out because you were able to recite their script yourself. By age 8 you understood why the grown-ups on Charlie Brown specials were so incoherent. As much as we cling to it, 'death by lecture' doesn't seem to be an effective persuasion tact, let alone an impetus for change.

The occasionally clever commercial or billboard aside, these methods seem to be used most extensively by groups or individuals that have adopted a 'cause'. Brow beating and condescension evoke hostility more than they do understanding or constructive dialogue. (I have not proven this scientifically but I have a theory that the 'higher the horse', the more 'woh woh woh' we hear from the rider.) Unsolicited lectures simply breed boredom. Heck, even the facts don't matter if they aren't used properly. One can be armed with statistics and facts galore and it does little to persuade as there's always evidence and anecdotes to the contrary.

This article illustrates the inherent trouble with statistics when trying to make the case for a certain way of life. It's about a vegan that argues that the impact of his Hummer SUV on the environment is offset by the fact that he is a vegan. He argues that one does not truly care about the environment unless they are vegan. His reasoning is that the carbon emissions of the livestock industries far outweigh that of his Hummer and other gas guzzling transportation. (While conveniently ignoring the drain on natural resources caused by his 4wheeled midlife crisis) You can read the article yourself and see that the author has gone to great lengths to find evidence and statistics that both support and debunk the claims of this polluting herbivore quite fairly. But if you take into account that 90% of all statistics are just made up anyway (think about that one), it is increasingly difficult to discover the truth. Not to mention I am still left pondering what would happen if we cut out the livestock industries. Where would all those cows go?

As much as some may not want to admit it, the first question that comes to many people's minds when posed with new information and a subsequent call to action is, 'How does this effect me?' I'm sure there are plenty of furrowed brows and 'not me' retorts out there but there is nothing to be ashamed of. It's basic survival instincts. 'How does this apply to me, should I be concerned and if so, how concerned?' The trick is to tap into this instinct and show people what's in it for them and not their great-great-great-grandchildren, not the South African Swallow and not a generalization such as 'mankind'.

If you have 10minutes watch this video below about Rocco the Cowboy whose life was saved by Dr. Oz and his crazy vegan voodoo. I know, I know… Dr. what?? I asked myself the same thing. He's apparently one of those Oprah endorsed phenomenons that has his own TV show now. (And if you can't trust Oprah who can you trust? Just look at Dr. Phil…)

Rocco was shown how his poor eating habits were killing him. He was challenged to temporarily try eating a vegan diet. Not because it would help the environment, not because it saves the dairy cows. He was asked to do this as a way to eliminate saturated fats and unhealthy, processed foods from his diet to show him how what he puts into body is killing him. What's in it for him? His life.

Now this is a way to send a message. Simple cause and effect. No theories, no studies, no ambiguity, no contradictions, no slogans, no lectures. Anyone can tell you to do something, or tell you why you should try. But perhaps it would be most effective to quit trying to prove oneself right, and start daring others to prove you wrong.