I Resolve to Make No Resolutions

I've never understood New Year's Resolutions. I have yet to meet a single person that has made a New Year's resolution and stuck with it, so it is little surprise to me to hear that the success rate for resolutions is only in the 10-12% range. It's still higher than I expected. I imagine that statistic does not have a margin of error that factors in the percentage of survey respondents that are liars.

You hear the same resolutions every year and in many cases you hear the same ones from the same people year in and year out. But they really mean it this time. "It's 1999, I'm closing out this century debt free!", "2000 is a new millennium and the first step to a million dollars! As soon as I pay off these credit cards.", "2010 is the decade to finally focus on financial freedom! I'll spend less and save more!" It's like that Mac commercial poking fun at Windows 7... It won't be like last time. 'Trust me.'

But as 2010 approaches, once again people are resolving to lose weight, quit smoking, get in shape, pay off debt, save money, give to charity, go on a vacation, listen more, start a new career, volunteer, eat their vegetables, watch less TV, read more books, control their anger... etc etc.

Unfortunately the reality tends to be losing weight by smoking or gaining weight from quitting, joining a gym at the 'New Year's special rate', going in to more debt to pay for vacation, saving money by only shopping at wholesale stores (2 gallons of peanut butter is an investment in peanutty goodness the whole year through), giving an extra dollar to Jerry's kids at the checkout, listening during commercials, adding monster.com to your bookmarks, making excuses to skip the gym, thinking about volunteering but never making the time, adding lettuce to your whopper, cutting your regular shows by 2 (but adding 5 more to the DVR), placing more books on your night stand while racking up the late fees at the library then getting your library card revoked for verbally abusing the librarian when she refuses to let you borrow 'The Total Money Makeover' because you still owe $50 on 'Personal Finance for Dummies' which you've had checked out since last January. But hey, at least you went on vacation.

The absurdity of a resolution on January 1st isn't so much about the failure rate really. We could get into a whole discussion about goal setting and creating a plan for success, two things I am only qualified to discuss in a 'don't try this at home' kind of way, but I'll leave that to the experts. I am simply annoyed by the notion that anyone would let the calendar dictate when they make a change. If you want to give the calendar that much power then screw it. The Mayan calendar apparently says that in 2012 the world is going to end anyway. So max out your Visa and order a double whopper, however... please keep your smoking to the designated smoking areas only and dispose of your cigarette butts in the receptacle provided.

People are often caught up looking for 'perfection'. The perfect moment to start something new, the perfect moment to ask someone out, the perfect job or the perfect mate. Meanwhile, life passes them by. Reality is not ideal, so no one's expectations should be. When is the last time you orchestrated a trip to the grocery store to perfection? (For the record I never have) You ever have to back track to an aisle for something you forgot? The deli line too long? The register break down? Are they out of seedless grapes? You forget to put something on the list? You forget the list? So what makes you think the perfect date on the calendar will make your goals any more attainable?

I understand the notion that a new year signifies a starting over, a new beginning. But for that matter, so does the 1st of any month. Why not resolve to change on March 1st? Or hey, how about a Sunday? It's a new week right? Oh, I know, we have several weeks a month and 52 on the year, they aren't special enough and who counts weeks anyway? Heck, you don't turn a page on the calendar to see what those silly kittens are up to each week. You have to wait until the month is over to see a new snapshot of those adorable little fur balls so no, a week isn't significant enough.

If it's a unique and symbolic date you require to begin your metamorphosis then why not make it today? There's no day that is more unique than the one you are in right now and frankly, today is the only day that exists. It's the only day you have a chance to control. You can conjure up images of the perfect day and visualize everything you are going to do when it gets here but with all due respect to Mr. Rogers, no one's life ever changed in the Land of Make-Believe.

If you're serious, then toss out your smokes. Cut coupons. Kill two birds with one stone and cut your cable TV service. Put down the fat-free Oreos. Get off the couch. Sweat. (If simply getting off the couch makes you sweat, then seek help)

If you are still hung up on the whole calendar thing, open it up right now and check for today's date. Now count how many times it appears from January 1st until now. Is that significant enough for you?

(If you found today's date more than once then it's time to replace your defective calendar. While you're at it, you may want to stop at the library and apologize too. She was only doing her job.)

[UPDATE] Lurg has made an appearance and has helped me realize I totally missed the bigger point I was trying to convey. Resolutions are inherently great, ONLY if you mean them. There needs to be sincerity and you need to be accountable. Don't make a resolution because it's the thing to do or if you're in a fleeting moment of motivation. Don't 'intend' to do it, plan to do it and act.

Take the small changes as wins, not as partial failures. You wanted to lose 50lbs, but only dropped 20? Great! You dropped 20! Now keep it up, but reflect on what you've done and how you can improve. Learn from the success and move forward. Getting side-tracked does not equal failure, quitting when it gets tough or never really trying is. I know, I've been there.

34" for my 34th

As you battle the shopping malls and outlet stores for the perfect gift or hot new toy this holiday season I want you try something new.

As you trudge along, narrowly dodging strollers, pushy perfume peddlers and the endless barrage of bags pulling shoppers in and out of stores (or is it the other way around?), you will inevitably witness a traditional holiday scene that would make The Grinch cringe. A young mother or father with disheveled hair, bloodshot eyes and chocolate milk stained pants trying to reel in their red-faced, tantrum throwing child like a fish at the end of a line. "I want it! I want it NOW!" the darling little cherub will screech. You gotta hand it to 'Mom', she's yelling as softly as she can through a clenched jaw while launching hurried apologies to strangers as she and her demon spawn bump and juke amongst the throng of disgusted and annoyed shoppers such as yourself. It eventually ends with the classic threat 'I guess Santa's not coming to our house this year' but only after she grabs hold of the arm of Junior's puffy winter coat that he deftly slips free of and darts away. Ding, ding, ding! Round Two….


When you witness this scene, I don't want you to be one of those disgusted and judgmental shoppers that sneers as they walk by. I'm also not asking you to help either. Chances are junior has a hard head or a mean left hook and you don't need the aggravation of going home and laying down with a bag of frozen peas between your legs for the rest of the day. Especially since you haven't picked out an obligation... er, I mean present, for Aunt Bertha yet.


What I want you to do is think about how different you are from that child that knows what they want but they refuse to wait for it, or worse, work for it. The idea IS for the kids to 'earn' their gifts through good behavior and good deeds right? You may not throw a tantrum over it or be intimidated by Santa's tattling little elves, but you know you don't want to wait. You want to lose 10-20lbs and you want it gone yesterday. You know you should eat better but the BK drive-through is more convenient than packing a lunch. Discipline and hard-work are often replaced with instant-gratification and easy-to-use gimmicks.


If you can be guaranteed that you will get what you want by busting out of your comfort zone, trying new things and working hard, but it will take months or even years to reach your goals, would you take the challenge? Or, if you are offered a quick and easy solution that may or may not work and the positive effects are not likely to remain long-term, would you take that instead?


I turned 34 on Dec 15th and I have given myself one of the best birthday presents I could receive. I didn't run to Best Buy to get it or find it on sale. I've been working at it for 6 months. It's a commitment to a more active and healthier lifestyle. It's still a work in progress and I have plenty that discourages me from time to time, even today, but when I think back to where it started I can't ignore the pride I feel for what I have accomplished since my first 'intro' class at Dynamic Strength and Conditioning on June 5th, 2009. I intend to re-gift similar achievements to myself every year from here on out.

June 5th 2009:

204lbs
Size 36 pants (loose style, but far from loose… elastic waist and drawstrings were my friends)
Only 2 notches left on my belt before it's too small.
Max Pullups - 1 (sort of)
Max Pushups - 20-25 with bad form
KB Swings - What's a kettlebell?
Max Box Jump - 12"


July 6th 2009 (60 day Challenge begins…):
200lbs
Waist** - 41"
Size 36 pants (loose style) 3 notches left on the belt… the trend begins…
Max Pullups - 1
Max Pushups - 12 with good form
KB Swings - 12kg
Max Box Jump - 18"
**(measured at the belly button so that my love handles get included)

Sept 5th 2009:
194 lbs
Waist - 39 3/4"
Size 36 pants (loose style and feeling it) 4 notches left on the belt
Max Pullups - 3
Max Pushups - 20 with good form
KB Swings - 16kg
Max Box Jump - 36"!!

December 15th 2009:
184 lbs
Waist - 37 1/2"
Size 34 pants (standard fit… wow I needed new jeans! Added bonus… the wife keeps checking out my butt) No notches left on the belt, good thing Christmas is coming.
Max Pullups - 7
Max Pushups - 30
KB Swings - 20-24kg (depends on the type of workout)
Max Box Jump - 42"

Someone asked me the other day if I think I can maintain this weight. My immediate reply without much thought - "I'm not even done. I could probably drop another 10lbs without changing anything I'm doing." Despite their suggestion that I should just be happy where I am at now and insistence that I don't need to lose anymore weight I came to a realization. I'm not trying to lose weight anymore. It's just happening. Although I find it helpful to look at the weight and body measurements as a way to quantify the physical changes I no longer set goals based on such numbers. Sure I'll still check them from time to time, but I won't be controlled by them. It's counter productive to allow yourself to be both encouraged and discouraged by the number on the scale. My response this time was simple (although if you know me, I babble, so I'll just give you the short version) - "I'm not losing weight, I'm creating opportunities to do extraordinary things."


Your achievements provide you with far more satisfaction and motivation to continue to make the right choices and experience things you otherwise wouldn't have. I am not striving for an ideal weight or a waist size (but 34" pants for my 34th is still pretty cool), I'm striving to have the energy and courage to be a stronger and healthier version of me. Someone that isn't afraid to compete, to fail or to conquer a feat I would never have considered before.


Of course, none of this means anything if you don't share those experiences with those closest to you. You hear plenty of the excuses about lacking time to exercise or to make healthier meals/snacks but it seems to me that when you create that time up front, you soon rediscover time, or rather good times, that you 'lost' by changing your priorities.


A few weeks ago we woke up to our first snow storm. The kids were buzzing about the house making plans to help Daddy shovel the driveway (aka 'spread the snow where Daddy already shoveled'), make a snow man, have a snow ball fight, go sledding, drink hot chocolate, go back out for more sledding, make a snow man family etc etc. My coffee was barely done brewing when I was dragged into the cold to chaperon their antics. I distinctly recall last year when I would talk the kids out of staying outside longer than I needed to so I could avoid sledding down the puny hill (more of a bump really) at the side of our house. Mostly because I knew they'd want my help getting back up and I wasn't up for pulling them in the sled, especially after breaking my back hauling away the heavy white stuff. But that wasn't going to happen on this day. With the driveway cleared in record time, I was pushing them down the hill and running back up with all 80-90lbs of the two of them in tow behind me. The snow wasn't sticky or deep enough to build a quality snow dude, but you would have thought there was a blizzard outside the way we were chucking snow at other. For once, I outlasted them. There's one of those 'good times' creeping up again.

I plan to take a similar photo with me and the grandkids one day…

So what am I gonna get myself for my 35th? Well, I expect my pushups and pullups will increase, I'll be able to jump higher and I'll deflate the personal flotation device that sits above my belt line some more. Somewhere along the way I'll try a 5k, maybe dust off my mountain bike, take up snow shoeing and start training in martial arts again. But the ultimate goal? The ultimate goal is a lifetime of memories of adventures with my wife and our kids.

SPECIAL THANKS: It's never easy to go on a journey alone, plus it's never as fun. My wife, Lynne, has been my biggest supporter through everything. She gets the kids to school on her own when I am up and out to the gym before most in the house are awake, she makes sure my gym bag has a towel in it every night, she knows what I want at the store and always make sure it's stocked in our fridge. (She even got me a power wheel for my birthday!) But most importantly, she listens to my rambling, she's exicted for my achievements and she makes it clear her love for me does not waver whether I am 204 or 184. Thanks, Babe! I love you too!

But where would all the cows go?

Have you ever been told you HAVE to do something by someone that lacks the authority to make you do it? It spikes the hairs on your neck, clenches your teeth and yanks your inner 'Hulk' right out of you.

Do you recall slouching on the sofa as your parents gave you yet another sermon on the virtues of a clean room? By age 7 you tuned it out because you were able to recite their script yourself. By age 8 you understood why the grown-ups on Charlie Brown specials were so incoherent. As much as we cling to it, 'death by lecture' doesn't seem to be an effective persuasion tact, let alone an impetus for change.

The occasionally clever commercial or billboard aside, these methods seem to be used most extensively by groups or individuals that have adopted a 'cause'. Brow beating and condescension evoke hostility more than they do understanding or constructive dialogue. (I have not proven this scientifically but I have a theory that the 'higher the horse', the more 'woh woh woh' we hear from the rider.) Unsolicited lectures simply breed boredom. Heck, even the facts don't matter if they aren't used properly. One can be armed with statistics and facts galore and it does little to persuade as there's always evidence and anecdotes to the contrary.

This article illustrates the inherent trouble with statistics when trying to make the case for a certain way of life. It's about a vegan that argues that the impact of his Hummer SUV on the environment is offset by the fact that he is a vegan. He argues that one does not truly care about the environment unless they are vegan. His reasoning is that the carbon emissions of the livestock industries far outweigh that of his Hummer and other gas guzzling transportation. (While conveniently ignoring the drain on natural resources caused by his 4wheeled midlife crisis) You can read the article yourself and see that the author has gone to great lengths to find evidence and statistics that both support and debunk the claims of this polluting herbivore quite fairly. But if you take into account that 90% of all statistics are just made up anyway (think about that one), it is increasingly difficult to discover the truth. Not to mention I am still left pondering what would happen if we cut out the livestock industries. Where would all those cows go?

As much as some may not want to admit it, the first question that comes to many people's minds when posed with new information and a subsequent call to action is, 'How does this effect me?' I'm sure there are plenty of furrowed brows and 'not me' retorts out there but there is nothing to be ashamed of. It's basic survival instincts. 'How does this apply to me, should I be concerned and if so, how concerned?' The trick is to tap into this instinct and show people what's in it for them and not their great-great-great-grandchildren, not the South African Swallow and not a generalization such as 'mankind'.

If you have 10minutes watch this video below about Rocco the Cowboy whose life was saved by Dr. Oz and his crazy vegan voodoo. I know, I know… Dr. what?? I asked myself the same thing. He's apparently one of those Oprah endorsed phenomenons that has his own TV show now. (And if you can't trust Oprah who can you trust? Just look at Dr. Phil…)

Rocco was shown how his poor eating habits were killing him. He was challenged to temporarily try eating a vegan diet. Not because it would help the environment, not because it saves the dairy cows. He was asked to do this as a way to eliminate saturated fats and unhealthy, processed foods from his diet to show him how what he puts into body is killing him. What's in it for him? His life.

Now this is a way to send a message. Simple cause and effect. No theories, no studies, no ambiguity, no contradictions, no slogans, no lectures. Anyone can tell you to do something, or tell you why you should try. But perhaps it would be most effective to quit trying to prove oneself right, and start daring others to prove you wrong.