Batman is not a quitter...

If one can find the courage to accept challenges, be fearless in the face of failure and recognize the many achievements along the way, in the end the original goal might not be your biggest success.

I am a firm believer that sometimes NOT getting what you want or what you strived for may turn out to be the best thing for you. Sometimes it is a roadblock that you ultimately overcome to achieve your goal on subsequent tries. Other times it is a realization of another dream or simply the acceptance that you've been chasing the wrong one.

Don't confuse that with the notion that giving up is ok. Remember, 'fearless in the face of failure'. It's a fine line between brutal honesty with yourself and an indomitable spirit to forge ahead.


It's like Bruce Wayne's dad said, 'Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn how to pick ourselves back up.' And then Bruce became Batman so who's the smart guy now?


I'm about to turn 35 and only recently in the same ballpark as 'fit'. I can't be an NFL linebacker no matter how much I may work at it and hope for it. Most NFL linebackers don't see a snap past age 35. But while in pursuit of such a goal perhaps someone in a similar situation can discover a new one. Maybe training others in pursuit of the same dream, maybe coaching or maybe handball (Jake Plummer) or MMA (Michael Westbrook), politics (Heath Shuler) or sports journalism (Ross Tucker and just about everyone on the NFL Network).


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again... if you don't succeed again, try again... if your definition of success still eludes you, maybe your definition is flawed. Maybe your goal wasn't the endgame you thought it was. That's not to say those efforts were wasted. On the contrary, those efforts were worth every second. The problem is, the path you're on may not take you where you thought you were going. Where you are going, you need those experiences and you need the pain to make the realization of that ultimate goal that much sweeter.


The trick is finding the line between quitting and moving on. In the former you turn back because the path is too long or too steep and you never find a destination. In the latter, you simply find a new path. It may be longer, it may be steeper, but you're progressing.

Not getting what you want, not achieving your goals or realizing your time has passed isn't always the abject failure we believe it to be. Ignoring the lessons and refusing to apply them and move on is the failure. Or worse, never trying.


So I can say it... but can I live it? What's my dream? Where's my courage?

Six-Pack

What's a more meaningless measure of one's fitness level? Six-Pack abs or how much you can bench press?

When people, guys at least, talk about wanting to be in shape they mention or simply visualize the 6-pack. (As they simultaneously down one…) It's the holy grail of fitness. It's a gold medal, the Lombardi trophy and the top score in Space Invaders all in one. It means no more shirts at the beach. Belts, the guardians of plumber's crack are demoted to optional accessory.

When guys enter the weight room for chest and triceps day they eye the benches. Subtly counting the plates and sizing up the muscle that's pushing them skyward… repeatedly… like an elevator that can't get past the 2nd floor no matter how hard it tries. Their clandestine assessment results in a scoff, a 'damn!' or a shrug. That response determines which empty bench they'll choose to work at or whether they'll start with triceps today, just to shake things up. Or to wait until the 'competition' moves along.

In the quest for a healthier more active self it seems many people focus on the wrong thing. It's typically a misguided ideal. It's the look they're after. Or they feel they need to compare to a macho measuring stick.

A six-pack means you have low body fat. It doesn't make you healthy, it doesn't mean you are fit. There are plenty of fit and active people without a six pack. There are plenty of people with a 6 pack that couldn't run a mile if they had to. To get a 6 pack, unless genetically pre-dispositioned or dedicated to ultra-clean eating and aggressive exercise or all of the above, the 6 pack will elude you.

In some cases, depending on where you are starting from, a 6-pack won't ever happen naturally. It not pessimistic, it's realistic. Skin just doesn't bounce back the way you want it to, not when it's been stretched for so long. Ask any mom. Hope and wish and believe all you want, in many cases it won't happen without surgery. But I ask… who cares?

A bench press means you can lift a bunch of weight off your chest while laying down. You can generate some impressive short bursts of power. Invaluable if you are a defensive lineman or you happen to have a vehicle stuck on your chest. Although if I have a vehicle stuck on my chest I want to be able to throw it off of me not just raise it higher above my chest. Luckily, I'm not much of a super-hero so a car on my chest is not a typical hazard I face.

Another thing a bench press helps with is thickening up those pecs. 6-pack + swollen chest + no shirt at the beach = chicks. You can even do that muscly mating ritual with your dancing chest… left, right, left, right, left, left, right, right… 'hello, ladies'. So a bench press helps develop perky 'moobs' (man boobs). I concede, if you're a single guy, that's functional.

One of the major.. ok, probably the #1 reason, most people workout and try to eat better is to look good. The aesthetics; bumpy abs, broad chest, the cool vein down your bicep (I'm still working on all 3). Despite my making fun, there's really nothing wrong with that. (Unless you become an obsessive narcissist I guess.) What I am sensitive to is that misguided ideal.

When someone finally has the motivation to make a positive change and they begin their journey towards it, they focus on an unrealistic and ultimately meaningless vision of what they want. I am afraid that as they progress, as they work, as they achieve better health and a higher level of fitness they still get discouraged. They reach a self-imposed milestone and they don't see the results they expected. They don't see those 6 hard bumps, it's really just one bump with maybe a ripple or two and think they have come up short. And then they give up.

It's as if they become blinded by the glare of failure that they can't see that what they actually have done is far greater than washboard abs or finally out-benching their imaginary competition. Before they couldn't lift 20lbs, now they lift 40. They couldn't walk a mile, now they run 2. They ate a whole bag of chips for snack, now they eat a bowl of strawberries. They got winded walking up 4 flights of stairs, now they bound up two at a time. They wouldn't even watch the marathon, now they're in it. Their shirt size used to have an 'X' or two in it, now it doesn't.

They way I see it is this: When measuring the positive and healthy changes in your life, if your focus is on how good you feel, it will reflect in how good you look. Don't live by someone else's image, create your own.

Tragically absent

I'm ba-ack! Sort of. It's easy enough to say I've been a slacker with my writing lately, but I prefer say that I've been 'living the dream'. My objective has been to write about my journey into a more active and healthy lifestyle so it is a little ironic that I haven't been writing anything lately because... I've been living a more active and healthier lifestyle.

My prime writing times have traditionally been lazy weekend mornings or late nights on Mondays/Wednesday as I didn't have to get up early for the gym. As of about 3 weeks ago my wife Lynne and I have been going out for walks/runs on weekends (sometimes with kids) and just this past Sunday we went for our first bike ride. No more lazy AMs for us. Also in the last few weeks I have been getting up early on Tues/Thurs AM to run. No more late nights. The only negative, no more writing. (and I need the practice)

Lynne and I were just talking this AM about how things have changed in this past year for us. Last spring I dug my size 36 shorts out from the depths of the closet and squeezed myself into them. Last weekend we went shopping for new shorts and I surprisingly slipped into 32s. Lynne slipped her svelt self into sizes she didn't think she'd ever fit into again. (I won't publish her sizes cuz 1 - she's a girl and probably doesn't want me to and 2 - I'm a guy, I will probably get them wrong and end up in the dog house)

For all the hard work we put in at the gym, tweaking our routines at home and with food, overall, the experience itself wasn't difficult. Leading a healthier life is not hard to do. It's committing yourself to do it and finding what works for you that's hard. We each found things that we love to do, made it a priority and it just worked itself out. If you don't know what it is you'd love to do the one piece of advice I would give is to look outside your comfort zone. Don't be intimidated and don't allow yourself to say 'I'd never be able to do that'. If that's what you believe, then you've already failed. Pass the Cool Ranch Doritos please...

Just as we had to adjust our lifestyle to fit in exercise, I'll find a way to fit writing in again. With more activity I ought to have more material.

Just a few quick hits on a variety of topics:

I have an article for Tragically Fit about Trail/Ultra Running coming up as part of a new series of sports/activities. Every couple of weeks/months I will try something new, write about the sports and my experience with it. The articles will also profile an athlete or two (recreational, amateur or pro) to provide their story on what makes them 'tragically fit' and show how everyday people find ways to challenge and enjoy themselves. A few sports I am considering are cycling (road or mountain bike), kayaking, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and a few others. Suggestions for new stuff is more than welcome? Volunteers to be my 'ambassador' to the sport as well as a spotlight athlete are even better!

Recently watched Sugar - The Bitter Truth - excellent if you can find the time and can get past the 'sciencey' stuff. Shows an interesting link to sugar in our diets, how it correlates to the obesity epidemic and the metabolic syndrome. My biggest take away was not the issue with the sugar you know, it's the sugar you don't. If I choose to eat ice cream or eat a candy or drink a soda (even Diet), then I know what I am getting myself into. But sugar (High Fructose Corn Syrup especially) added to bread, peanut butter, fruit juice, cereal, low-fat processed snack foods etc etc... That's where I feel decieved. FYI - there is a difference between sugar in fruits and the sugar added to fruit juice or just about every other food we eat. Watch it and learn. If I have time to watch it again and summarize the major points I will.

One little bike ride and I am ready and willing to drop down some coin on a new bike! (Notice that I did not say 'able') I'm looking for cheap options. Road tires for my mountain bike, a cheap road bike, a hybrid or maybe a used Cyclocross bike?? I'll mostly do roads, typically with the family, but I want the option go fast and the durablity to go off road if I choose to.

I still want to watch Food Inc. Has anyone seen it? What did you think? Did it change anything for you?

Dedication vs Stupidity

Last week I asked where to draw the line between dedication and stupidity. At what point does one's dedication to their sport or activity cross the line to where they are exposing themselves to undue risk and maybe even jeopardize their ability to continue what it is that they enjoy so much?

If you are one of the handful of people that read my blog, you know I am not at risk for overdoing anything other than questioning what it is I am doing. So my question was posed to those of you that have that 'thing' you do. That thing, or maybe things, that you have such passion for it has become a compulsion. You don't just want to do it, it's an urge. But I want to know, when have you taken it too far?

Just to recap for those too lazy to click the link above, last Sunday, was a monsoon here in southern NH. I was set to go for my first legitimate trail run with my friend Chris. Through various texts while getting ready to go not so bright and pretty early in the morning, he suggested we postpone my inaugural run through the backwoods mostly due to my lack of gear for the terrain in conditions with a high suck factor. Although initially reluctant I finally succumbed to his logic as well as the call of my pillow.

When I 'woke up', so to speak, I had this sinking feeling that I wussed out. Well if Chris still went out was he taking it a bit far? Were conditions that bad or was I that mentally weak? Or with clocks jumping ahead an hour was Chris too exhausted to endure both the weather and my bitching and moaning if I couldn't hack it? Thanks for letting me down easy, Chris...

This was his official take on what transpired...

Chris:

haha....I decided. You were ready to go, which certainly does not make you a wuss. Here is my reasoning....as stated you are now just getting back into running. Sure, a quick jaunt over roads and you would have been fine, even in those miserable conditions. But on the trail we were hitting, you can run into the unexpected all the time (trail underwater and having to traverse over rocks or fallen trees, etc). And, you don't want to be in Nike frees. That would have been like running in wet socks (blister city). My goal was for you to enjoy your first time, wanting to come back for more. Maybe even spread the word on how awesome trail running is. Not sending you home with feet made out of hamburger, or rolled ankles from slippery rocks and roots (nike frees are not good in wet conditions, on that terrain). As a host, it would have been irresponsible for me to bring you out there without gear that keeps you semi dry, and upright on the trail (well most of the time with experience). Hence smart vs wuss. There are many ways to get a workout in, as you know. With that, a good reason for someone to get out in those conditions, is if they are training for a race or series of races. That is because you never know what you will get for weather on race day. Now don't get me wrong. Running in the rain, on trail, is a ton of fun. Let's just get that first run out of the way.

Plenty of logic and reason there, Chris, and I appreciate that you take your role as 'host' so seriously. My feet and ankles thank you. But I still had this ache that I let myself down. I figured if anyone would give me a constructive smackdown it would be Kevin. He didn't disappoint.

Kevin:

Reading this I get the sense that you feel like you should have gone for the run. In my opinion, not having sufficient gear is not an excuse to not go for a run. "Sufficient gear" is a modern phenomenon that enables more comfort for doing the same tasks that people have been doing forever without "sufficient gear".. People were running in rain and wind long before Nike and Gore-Tex…

There you have it… WUSS! Seriously though, it is quite true. It's not the gear that provides us the means to do these things. We already have the means. The gear provides comfort for sure, mostly to allow one the ability to perform at a level they otherwise would not have.

However, to Chris's point, the other intent is injury prevention. Whether it is cold weather gear that protects from extreme temps/frost-bite or water-proof trail shoes with better grip to avoid slips and ankle rolls while also preventing blisters, the intent is not only to make training safer and more accessible in any conditions, it is to keep training and enjoying our sports. Who wants to be sidelined with a sprain or slowed by never ending blisters? Nagging injuries due to poor preparation hurt worse than the ones that just happen despite your best efforts. You have that sense that it could have been prevented and it's your own fault that you're icing your ankle instead of riding your bike or playing basketball with the guys.

So what's the verdict? Well, despite the fact that I think not going for that trail run with Chris was the right decision, I still wussed out. Seeing as this would be my first run through mud and over rocks it would not have been smart. Could I have done it? Sure. Would I have been injured? Maybe. Would I have loved it? In a sick sort of way probably.. when it was over.

I wussed out because I did not seize the opportunity. I don't typically get up early on a Sunday, or any other day, and run. It's not part of my routine at the moment. But here I was out of bed and about to lace up my running shoes. I was ready to go. I wasn't just faced with a decision to trail run, I had the opportunity to push myself somewhere other than my bed and I didn't take it. Sure, maybe a trail would have been a questionable choice for me that morning, but I could have hacked the perfectly good roads right outside my door despite the wind and rain. Or I could have gone to the basement and put myself through some intense intervals instead. It's a challenge I didn't meet or even recognize. That's where my disappointment came from.

So are these 'nutjobs' on their bikes in mid-January dedicated or stupid? Well that depends on the conditions, their level of preparation and the rider. When the Jens Factor is high, the most dedicated cyclists will opt for riding the trainers in their garage instead of risking certain death. But the point is, when a limit is reached they don't pack it in. They adapt. In conditions most people don't even want to run to their car in, dedicated athletes suck it up and endure.

The latter portion of Kevin's comment brought it all together for me:

...I'm not going to call you a wuss. I might suggest that you're uncomfortable with your decision to bail on the run and that the next time you are confronted with the same decision you should get out there and do it. I admire the fact that you are questioning your decision. Too many people would have been more than happy with their decision to pull up the covers and "sit this one out". You clearly are not, and that's a good thing!

What I have learned is that it's about preparation and knowing the limits of safety as well as your own limits. The trouble is, not only do you have to be willing to find your limits, but you need to have the courage to reach them and redefine them whenever the opportunity presents itself.

That's enough

I've noticed that those who are truly passionate and committed to something know how to answer the question 'What's enough?' Look at those 'crazy' bikers or runners out there in the bone-chilling winter months or battling through a classic New England Nor'Easter. Those 'nutjobs' are out there because they know the answer. Although I wonder, do they even ask the question?

When faced with a late January freeze, many people will say it's too cold for a ride. A dedicated biker will say 'It's warm enough' as they slip on their thermal gear and hit the road.

As buckets of water pour from the sky, some may find themselves rolling over and tugging the blankets up tight to their chin, happy for the extra sleep. The passionate runner will say 'It's not wet enough' as they slip on their Gore-Tex and hit the trails.

You've probably heard the rationalizations from friends and co-workers, or it may even be your own; 'I didn't complete the workout but I think I did enough to work off the doughnut I had for breakfast.', 'I would have run more but I think that mile was enough, don't want to over do it you know.', 'I ate well enough today, I'll go with the meat-lover's pizza for dinner.'

I'm thinking if you have to convince yourself it's enough, it isn't. When you feel it's enough, you'll never question it.

Now with that said, where's the line between dedication and stupidity? This past Sunday I was supposed to go for an inaugural trail run with my friend Chris the super-ultra-runner. (Not his legal name) After a late night and a one hour 'spring ahead' imposed on the clock I stumbled out of bed raring to go.. ok, whimpering, but going nonetheless. Chris sends me a text asking about my rain gear. Huh? It's my inaugural trail run, I haven't invested in 'gear' aside from the shoes I have been using on the road 1-2 times a week for the last month. (Or is it 1-2 times in the last month?) I have some hiking shoes and a Gore-Tex ski jacket, but heavy shoes and a parka didn't seem like the sort of 'gear' I needed.

I reply that I have none but wasn't really thinking about it. I didn't want to 'wuss out' over some rain. In fairness, we were in the midst of one of those aforementioned Nor'Easters with strong winds and a steady stream of rain. Chris suggested we don't go if I don't have sufficient gear. 'There's a difference between being a wuss and being smart', he tells me... Fair enough, he's the super-ultra-runner that knows best, back to bed I went. But then today something occurred to me... I think he still went running. Who's a wuss now? Maybe it's just paranoia talking, or maybe it's my lack of facial hair that does it, but I am thinking that wuss is ME! Perhaps it wasn't just rain gear that I didn't have enough of. If I am asking the question, I must know the answer.

Tragically Fit? What's that?

"Tragically Fit? What's that? What's a 'Lorg'?"

That's the question I get asked about 2-3 times a day when I wear one of my 'Lurg shirts'. I typically turn my back to the inquisitor as I tactfully correct their pronunciation of Captain Caveman's name, point my thumb at the URL on the shirt and tell them to check it out online. Lurg's story explains it better than I can. However, I've been thinking about it more lately and wondering if there is a more concise and compelling definition I can provide to inquiring minds. Well, maybe not concise...

Tragically Fit is the idea that one can be fit in mind and body through natural means; not based on the gimmicks, pills and contrived training methods we are force fed by the diet and fitness industries over the last several decades. These are industries whose purpose is ultimately to maximize profits and sell a service or product to the broadest market possible. They are not a honest movement towards good health, they're a commercial force.

In the process of becoming experts on fitness and exercise, we got collectively stupid. I blame marketing. You can't package common sense. It's hard to sell hard work. It's even harder to vaguely tell people to move and have fun, without telling them how to move or what fun to have. They need to sell it, it needs to be simple and it only needs to sound legit.

As technology advances to make business allegedly more efficient, we seem to lose more time. So now, not only do we sit on our asses most of the day, we're sitting there longer. So much for efficiency. So now we apply this backwards logic to diet and exercise. It has become a chore, not a lifestyle.

To me, Tragically Fit is as much about being accountable and empowered as it is about being physically fit. It's about creating balance in your body and in your life. It's not about being an ultra-marathoner or MMA fighter, although it can be. It's a way to break from the chains of your Lay-Z-Boy and discover that there is actually a world out there to enjoy, batteries not included, or needed. It is not constrained by the walls of a gym or a line of products. Tragically Fit does not fit in a package and it's not a routine.

It's about redefining your self image. You aren't likely to resemble a magazine cover model or professional athlete, nor do you need to feel like you should. What good is a 'six-pack' if you pull a hammy moving the couch while in search of the remote? (or better yet, your running shoe) Will you be measured by someone else's ideal or will you measure yourself by what you are capable of?

So as for my attempt at a concise definition goes...

Physical fitness and good nutrition are not the means to an end, they are the means to opportunities that are endless. To be Tragically Fit, is to make functional movement and natural health a way of life, not just something else to cram into it.

Competition of one

I've never been one to compete. Although I don't like losing, I've never had an urge to be the best at anything. Perhaps I am content or perhaps I am just lazy. The only formal competition I remember entering was a Tae Kwon Do Tournament when I was about 14. It was my one and only tournament. After a tough match in which I came very close to disqualification for a variety minor transgressions, I came in 2nd place... out of 2. Thus ending what could have been an illustrious career. Aside from my early days as a martial artist whose kicks flew higher than his ambitions I don't recall a time in my life where I was a part of anything that stoked a competitive fire in me. I don't even know what I could have competed in. Perhaps there was a place in competitive rock, paper, scissors for me or maybe, just maybe.. extreme channel surfing.

Although it's easy to blame all those tee-ball games that mysteriously ended in a tie, I attribute my aversion to formal competition to Jr. High and High School gym class. It's not because I was I always picked last. I wasn't. The awkward kid with the coke bottle glasses that avoided changing in the locker room by wearing his 'high water' sweat pants to school (which in turn maximized his nose-picking time between class) usually ensured that I saved a sliver of dignity while waiting in the angst ridden line of the phys. ed. pecking order. No, it was those overzealous ball hogs and JV bench warmers that always took things a bit too far. You know the guys. Taking off their shirts to impress the girls (the ones that walked laps around the gym to avoid sweating or breaking a nail), taking twenty 3-point shots per game and only sinking two, calling a foul after every mishandled pass or errant lay up. My personal favorite was when they would swing for the fences, pop-up to the outfield where Urkel was exiled and score a home run on a dropped ball, a short throw and two errors. The irony of the high fives and chest bumps as they crossed the plate made me laugh more than the errors did. Their ultra-competitiveness and selective sportsmanship turned me off to competition more than my lack of skill did.

So here I am, a guy that has never seriously competed at anything in his life, theorizing about the nature of competition. What do I know? Well, I can relate to competition on a smaller scale. When I trained in Tae Kwon Do decades ago I used to admonish students to not compare themselves relative to others. At least when it comes to technique or ability. Everyone is different, they are at varying levels of ability and rank. You lose appreciation for what you can do and undermine your own development when you only measure yourselves to others. Pretty soon motivation wanes and discouragement sets in when one feels like they just don't stack up.

This is not to say you should not observe others in an effort to better yourself. It's one thing to observe, learn and adapt. It's another to simply judge and push yourself without focus. In anything you do, be it gym workouts, racing, dancing, singing, software development, accounting, marketing, sales or even parenting, it's valuable to watch others that you deem to be successful and learn from them. Just don't value or de-value yourself based on what you what find. But if their 3pt shooting percentage is a hearty 10% just snicker quietly and be on your way.

Try to look for those proverbial intangibles. Effort, focus, determination, attitude. It's these attributes that determine success, whether it's in the gym, the board room or on the production floor. Can you match their intensity to push your limits? There's always a few people at the gym that go all out in the workouts, they finish with great times and try everything at high degrees of difficulty. Can you keep up? Well, chances are, no. Not yet anyway. But do you see them looking around at everyone else? Do you see them stealing so many breaks? You may not be as fast or as strong, but do you work as hard? The aim is to progress yourself from where you are to where you want to be. You can try mimicking what they do, but I gather it is much more efficient to mimic how they do it.

You can even learn from those that aren't at the pinnacle of success so to speak. You can be feeling like a slug, unable to push yourself for another round, glance over at the newbie pushing half as much weight as you, simply grinding it out. What the hell? You gonna let newbie show you up, tough guy? Don't look now but she just went up a height in box jumps. Still not as high as you but when's the last time you raised your height up? Been getting a little too comfortable maybe?

Aside from the intangibles you can learn a lot by observing techniques or habits. Your back always hurts after kettlebell swings. The muscle soreness from Monday seems to creep into Wednesday.. and Thursday. You have a tough time getting started in the AM. Well how is Kareem doing his two arm swings? What's Tom eating after the workout? Why does Sandy seem to have so much energy each morning? How do they do it? (This is not to discount the benefits of a great mentor or coach of course)

Out on the playground, why do some parents seem to be able to corral their kids without the use of sheep dogs, lassos or tasers? Why do some actually look like they enjoy it!?

In the office, why does Bob always seem to get his spreadsheets done on time and how is it that he never misses a lunchtime bike ride too?

In the sales world, why does your competitor seem to be grabbing more market share with an inferior product? Or why is Bob's brother, Bill, outselling you? Look at his smug little face as he joins his brother for a bike ride while you make cold calls. You hope those tight shorts make him sterile don't you?

I like the term 'healthy competition'. It acknowledges the benefits of competition but also alludes to the inherent evils that lurk within it. (play spooky music here) If there is a 'healthy' there must be an 'unhealthy' right? Competition spawns ambition and creativity. It helps one strive to do or be more. It becomes unhealthy when the objective is simply to win at all costs and without regard to others. At its worst, an overly competitive nature can lead one to only find self-worth in winning, not simply achieving.

What healthier way to compete than to compete with yourself? Every time you progress it's a victory. That's not say you should never look to compete with others. Heck, competition is what our economy is dependent on isn't it?! (unless you are a Democrat apparently… kidding, kidding.. a little bit) Competing directly against others can sharpen those intangibles. You retain that focus and you can re-discover that determination. Plus, did you ever notice that you work harder when someone is watching? (Like the cute girls walking their laps - or your crazy coach hopped up on a mix of coffee and cyclocross fever) The folly is when you compete and you feel it was all for naught if you aren't the last one standing. Did you give it your all? If not, then fine. Feel like crap. You should, slacker. Did you give it everything? Did you reach a new plateau? Yes? Then congratulations. You won!

I'll probably never be an Extreme Channel Surfing Champ. Maybe my goals have changed or maybe it's my 'girly' hands. Whatever the reason is, I can accept that I lack the world class endurance it takes to channel modulate competitively. In the meantime, I am looking for my first 5k to run. Perhaps I'll mountain bike too. For fun at least and then see where that takes me. At least I know how to run. The only gears to change are run, run faster, slow down. One thing I won't do is get caught up in my own success or failure. I'll keep my shirt on, only call the blatant fouls and give the guy with high-rise sweat pants an 'atta boy' on my way around 2nd. Heck, just showing up was a victory for him! (Besides, someday he might be my boss)

Changing Channels

'Change' is not simply the act of choosing an alternative. It is a concept that can only be born out of determination, planning and an unwavering commitment to a specific purpose. One can say they will change, one can hope for change, one can wait for change, but unless there is an honest commitment to it, one will never experience it.

The concept is diluted when used as a political rallying cry or as a vague wish of the apathetic. 'Change' is most powerful when it is applied to yourself, your habits or your point of view.

The concept remains the same whether it concerns health/wellness, finances, addictions, careers, projects, processes or politics.

Change is not a blanket with which to shroud an issue. It can't be imposed upon others. Change has to radiate from you.

Be honest...

You're busting out burpees at the gym. You're on the 4th round, you're sucking in air but it feels more like you're breathing under water. You consider cutting out the pushups because you're convinced your shoulders will cave in on the next one. The jump? It's a calf-raise at best, with what appears to be a half-assed attempt at 'the wave' thrown in.

Do you quit? Steal a quick second to catch your breath and move on? Steal a long minute to recover? Fake an injury? Suddenly remember you have to leave early because of a big meeting at work to discuss the shortage of coffee stirrers in the break room?

As someone who has stolen those seconds and minutes before… correction… someone who steals those seconds and sometimes minutes I can relate to the thought process and the excuses that go with it. You begin to question yourself, 'Did I select too much weight?', 'Can I maintain this pace?', 'I wonder if anyone has thrown up in class before.', 'If I don't slow down I won't finish. Gotta pace myself right?', 'Is anyone else having as hard a time or am I doing this wrong?', 'I think I am going to be the first person to puke in class', 'How many rounds left?', 'Will Kevin notice if I drop to a lighter weight?', 'Will it be worse if I get sick on the floor or the chalk bucket, cuz if I run for bathroom I'll probably pass out too.'

I'd like to believe the excuses and musings that eat away at my focus have diminished over time. I'd also like to believe they are fueled by logic and reason as opposed to panic or my inner wuss who's cloaked in my denial. (The word 'cloak' evokes images that suggest my inner wuss dresses like a Hobbit. So my inner wuss is also a dork apparently, therefore, I will name him Bentley.)

When I have pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do, not only did I survive, but I felt exhilarated by it. 3 days of muscle pain notwithstanding. (that was for you, Kevin) No vomiting, no death, no passing out on top of unsuspecting classmates. (which I did in 9th grade during gym class by the way) It's as if there is this point where your body decides it can't convince you to quit so it might as well chip in and stop you from dying. It's like pulling off a band-aid. You tug at it, it pulls at the skin and hair, it hurts, you tug, it hurts some more. Then finally you just yank it off. Sure there's some pain (and less hair) but it's not as intense as it was, it's bearable and you move on.

Years ago, when I ran regularly I noticed this 'band-aid effect' at about the first mile or so. Lactic acid builds up in the legs, the chest burns with each breath and the damn ear buds keep popping out! (Probably not related to this but a pain in the ass anyway) Then your body gets on board and decides to fuel your muscles and get your blood pumping to push you through the next couple miles (I never said I ran distance). There's probably some scientific name for it, it's probably endorphins or some other chemical that flushes the lactic acid out, but to me, it's just time for the band-aid to get ripped off.

When training with full-body, functional workouts, the dynamic nature of the intervals as well as the type of exercises makes it difficult to identify the 'band-aid' point. You're constantly changing the load, the movement and the intensity during your workout. The mental game lasts longer. How do you push through it? Where does your mental toughness come from? Seriously... I don't have an answer for you.

For some people it is part of their character, genetics or some freakish mutant pain threshold. They refuse to give in.. ever. Just look at ultramarathon runners or guys that still wear their Members Only jacket from 1986. Others of us have no idea what our limits are and have either habitually underestimated them or we are too afraid to find out how far we can go.

This has a 'real men of genius' song waiting for it...

"Some guys would have given up when it hit 1990, but not you Mr. Members Only Jacket guy, you said 'Hey, I'm not giving up until I'm the only member!' (background singers - "I think you aaa-are!") So here's to you..."

I believe mental toughness can be learned. It's human nature to stay within a certain comfort zone, to stay with what we know, what is familiar. Sticking to what is familiar got me overweight, lazy, self-conscious and unmotivated. It's only through pushing through the pain, but more importantly through the doubt, that I found the limits were self-imposed and underestimated. That's not to say I don't still place limits on myself or that I have achieved some lofty plane of fitness. Far from it. All I am saying is that I am beginning to recognize the circumstances where I have placed the barriers in front me. What I am working on is how to overcome each barrier, work to the next, then bust it out of the way too. To be honest with myself about what's holding me back.

I wish I could offer you some mental gimmick or mantra to get you through whatever circumstance you find yourself in that requires some extra resolve. I got nothing, but I imagine it's different for everyone. You've got to find it and make it work for you.

For me that inner voice has become rather sarcastic and condescending lately. Now when I think 'I can't do this anymore.' Bentley chides me with the tone of an older sibling, 'Really? You can't? You don't have another one in you huh? Well, I guess we know why mom loves me more than you now don't we?' Ok, so that's not it exactly, the dialogue is a little simpler and more encouraging than that. But it's there.

We don't always have a coach or classmates rooting us on, we have to be accountable only to ourselves. It's always easier to give up when no one is looking. Convince yourself you have a little more left in the tank and step on the gas. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Vacation?!

This won't be my usual rant. Just hoping to inspire (or guilt) others into getting off their butts for at least part of vacation.

I've gorged a little more than I should have the last 2 weeks. I could have eaten worse, but I could have eaten a lot better too. I can't say I have been as active as I would have liked, but I have been keeping up with workouts regardless of circumstances. With all this snow and no snow blower, I think I have plenty of shoveling, sledding and snow ball fights coming my way the next two days to make up for it.

On Monday we drove up to North Conway to stay with family and go tubing on Mt Cranmore. I skipped the 7am workout so we could get an early start. Aside from towing a couple kids around in tubes and an epic snowball fight in the park, my workout of the day was done in a 7x3 ft area between a bunk bed and a closet. (I think this is a more accurate description of a 'prison workout') I brought a pushup bar, a jungle gym, power wheel and jump rope with me. I used what worked best for the circumstances.

This is my 'No excuses' workout for December 28th:

15:15 (15 seconds work: 15 seconds rest) of each for 10 rounds. Rest 2min, then go to next exercise:

Hindu Pushups (with pushup bar)

PowerWheel rollouts

Hindu Squats

Tuck Jumps

Last night was spent partying with great friends and aside from our Wii Bowling Tournament, there wasn't much else for activity unless you count eating, drinking, eating and eating. We were supposed to go snowshoeing for the first time ever today, but with conditions less than ideal and some scheduling conflicts with the kids I was left to improvise once again.

This is my 'I'd rather be snowshoeing' workout to kick off the New Year. a.k.a 'Something I wouldn't even have thought of doing (or been able to) a year ago today':

Alternating ladders - 10,9,8...1 and 1,2,3...10

A1 Down: Pushups (with bar)

A2 Up: Body Rows

B1 Down: Mountain Climbers (20, 18, 16...)

B2 Up: Skiers (2, 4, 6...)

C1 Down: PowerWheel Knees to Elbows

C2 Up: PowerWheel Hamstring Curls

D1 Down: Burpees

D2 Up: Deck Squats

Neither workout took more than 45min including warm-up and cool down. I used minimal equipment (easy to pack and bring along) and I needed little to no space to get it done. They both kicked my ass and I was still feeling Monday's workout during my Wednesday morning gym workout. Although I'd rather be working out at DynamicSC, working out at home does not have to be a compromise. If you can make 'workout' time 'play' time, even better. Play in the snow, save gas and shovel the driveway or walk way or find a 3 year old to follow around for an hour. The latter being the most exhausting and fun. (Of course, make sure you know them and get their parents ok first! It's supposed to be fun, not creepy.) But if you rather have a set plan try this blog out for some great ideas.

It's a New Year, so try something new this weekend. Who knows? Maybe by Jan 1st, 2011 you'll find yourself doing something other than nursing a hang over.