Random Rambling

Collections of thoughts that have been clunking about my cranium...

More and more I am beginning to believe that things don't just happen to us. We happen to us. You are a product of the environment you create around you. Your circumstances are often the sum of the choices you have made. That might make you defensive or depressed. But if so, perhaps that's a hint of what's holding you back. Why doesn't it inspire you? If your choices and actions put you there, then you know you have the power to get yourself out.


How can a puppy sleep 8 hours in his crate with no accidents, but an hour after taking him outside he has the urge to soil the rug?


I passed my CPT exam (NSCA's Certified Personal Trainer cert) back in June. Lots of book learning, a ton of studying and a ton of worrying for those little initials. Now what? Now the real education begins. Forget the textbooks for now. I have been reading anything I can find from guys like Eric Cressey, Martin Rooney, Dan John, Mike Robertson and Tony Gentilcore, as well as my personal favorites, Kevin Buckley, Chris Martin and Conor Nordgeren. I've also been running a few sessions a week at Dynamic. What a change in perspective being on the other side of the kettlebell. I knew of the general bad-assery of the folks at Dynamic but it's even more impressive to watch when I'm not drowning in my own pool of sweat.


Unwritten rule of life #2173 - The driver is not responsible for YOUR beverage. The driver must focus on the road, the traffic signals, the signs and all the other drivers that are NOT paying attention to either the road, traffic signals or signs. The driver's decisions to accelerate, decelerate, stop or turn are complicated and unpredictable enough that consideration for the location of your beverage in relation to your mouth or lap is not their primary concern. Your cup is your responsibility.


Out of all the reading I have been doing, there has been one concept from Martin Rooney that has been sticking in my head. It's that decisions, wishes or wanting don't make your goals a reality. Rooney uses a riddle to make this point. I'm paraphrasing here, "There are three birds on a fence, one decides to fly away. How many are left?" If you said two then you are an idiot. Kidding, kidding. The answer is 3. Deciding to fly is not the same as flying.... or maybe they were frogs jumping off a log.... anyway, the point is that the only thing that counts is action.

If you rather contemplate the wisdom of puppets, Yoda (pre-CGI) said something in a similar vein once - 'There is no try, do or do not.'

Over 15 years ago I couldn't understand teenaged girls. Nothing has changed except the reasons why I bother trying to understand them in the first place.


One my favorite quotes of all time, "We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are" - Anais Nin. If someone is untrusting, is it because they are untrustworthy? (Too deep?) How about this? Have you ever read a curt email or text, added your own tone to it, created a back story as to why the sender is an a-hole and vowed that THIS time, you're done with them? Only to find out the other person was in the ER, having dinner, their phone died or they were in line at the grocery store? Your anger, insecurity or general bitchiness fabricated the circumstance. It was a projection of you, not them.


I can deal with a busy and ever changing schedule because quite honestly, I like or at least appreciate the things we fill it with. What bothers me is where the largest chunk of time is allocated. Eliminating it is simple, but the consequences are hard. If I am ever going to replace those 40hrs, I need to make it count.


Call me crazy but I kind of liked being unplugged for a few days during the mass power outages of 'Snowtober'.


Is it true that everyone is special, or have we just lowered our standards? If we are all the same, then why strive to be exceptional? Does mediocrity suit you?

"Everyone can be super! And when everyone's super... no one will be." - Syndrome - 'The Incredibles'

Ok fine. I don't understand women of any age. But they're definitely worth all the confusion.

"I didn't do it..."

Where has personal accountability gone? Though they are the leading experts, lacking accountability is not reserved for just children and teenagers. (Was that redundant? Teenagers are children right?)

"It wasn't me" says the 5year old through a chocolate stained smile.

"It's not my fault! You distracted me when you asked about my day and then I forgot!" says the 10year-old who's Friday lunch leftovers are found decomposing in her backpack Sunday night.

"I can't make people stop texting me and I can't be rude and not respond." says the teenager who has wasted 5hours doing 30min worth of homework. (And I'm sure it was some virus that kept Facebook open the whole 5 hours too....)

"Kids!" right? Wrong...

"It's a special occassion so I can splurge a little." Sounds innocent enough unless 'splurge' means sharing a plate of mozerella sticks with me, myself and I before the Bacon-Double Onion Ring and lard burger with double chili-cheese fries entree.

"I can't pay for the new transmission because I have to pay for my vacation next week." I'd be lying if I didn't admit I live dangerously close to such a scenario.

"I'm too busy to read, exercise, play with the kids or cook healthier meals." Quilty.

I could lecture (and hope to follow my own advice) but instead I will simply translate the statements above into the truths they hide:

"I'm sick of pretending to have the discipline or dedication to eating healthy."

"I only plan to pay for what I want, not what I know I will need."

"I am oblivious to how much time I actually spend on Facebook, XBox, texting and catching up on the 50shows a week I have DVR'd."

Now don't get me wrong, if that's where you WANT to budget your time or how you WANT to budget your money, then so be it. Nothing says you have to change anything. Might as well quit reading this and get back to watching Jersey Shore. Just realize you relinquish your right to bitch and moan when you don't get what you want or more importantly, what you need, down the road.

Instead, try accepting the fact that you put yourself in your current situation. Skate by or work around the problem. But if you don't want to face it again, cut the excuses and make the required changes.

It starts with facing the hard truths about you and your choices. If you can't be honest with yourself, you'll continue to come up short every time.

Batman is not a quitter...

If one can find the courage to accept challenges, be fearless in the face of failure and recognize the many achievements along the way, in the end the original goal might not be your biggest success.

I am a firm believer that sometimes NOT getting what you want or what you strived for may turn out to be the best thing for you. Sometimes it is a roadblock that you ultimately overcome to achieve your goal on subsequent tries. Other times it is a realization of another dream or simply the acceptance that you've been chasing the wrong one.

Don't confuse that with the notion that giving up is ok. Remember, 'fearless in the face of failure'. It's a fine line between brutal honesty with yourself and an indomitable spirit to forge ahead.


It's like Bruce Wayne's dad said, 'Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn how to pick ourselves back up.' And then Bruce became Batman so who's the smart guy now?


I'm about to turn 35 and only recently in the same ballpark as 'fit'. I can't be an NFL linebacker no matter how much I may work at it and hope for it. Most NFL linebackers don't see a snap past age 35. But while in pursuit of such a goal perhaps someone in a similar situation can discover a new one. Maybe training others in pursuit of the same dream, maybe coaching or maybe handball (Jake Plummer) or MMA (Michael Westbrook), politics (Heath Shuler) or sports journalism (Ross Tucker and just about everyone on the NFL Network).


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again... if you don't succeed again, try again... if your definition of success still eludes you, maybe your definition is flawed. Maybe your goal wasn't the endgame you thought it was. That's not to say those efforts were wasted. On the contrary, those efforts were worth every second. The problem is, the path you're on may not take you where you thought you were going. Where you are going, you need those experiences and you need the pain to make the realization of that ultimate goal that much sweeter.


The trick is finding the line between quitting and moving on. In the former you turn back because the path is too long or too steep and you never find a destination. In the latter, you simply find a new path. It may be longer, it may be steeper, but you're progressing.

Not getting what you want, not achieving your goals or realizing your time has passed isn't always the abject failure we believe it to be. Ignoring the lessons and refusing to apply them and move on is the failure. Or worse, never trying.


So I can say it... but can I live it? What's my dream? Where's my courage?

Six-Pack

What's a more meaningless measure of one's fitness level? Six-Pack abs or how much you can bench press?

When people, guys at least, talk about wanting to be in shape they mention or simply visualize the 6-pack. (As they simultaneously down one…) It's the holy grail of fitness. It's a gold medal, the Lombardi trophy and the top score in Space Invaders all in one. It means no more shirts at the beach. Belts, the guardians of plumber's crack are demoted to optional accessory.

When guys enter the weight room for chest and triceps day they eye the benches. Subtly counting the plates and sizing up the muscle that's pushing them skyward… repeatedly… like an elevator that can't get past the 2nd floor no matter how hard it tries. Their clandestine assessment results in a scoff, a 'damn!' or a shrug. That response determines which empty bench they'll choose to work at or whether they'll start with triceps today, just to shake things up. Or to wait until the 'competition' moves along.

In the quest for a healthier more active self it seems many people focus on the wrong thing. It's typically a misguided ideal. It's the look they're after. Or they feel they need to compare to a macho measuring stick.

A six-pack means you have low body fat. It doesn't make you healthy, it doesn't mean you are fit. There are plenty of fit and active people without a six pack. There are plenty of people with a 6 pack that couldn't run a mile if they had to. To get a 6 pack, unless genetically pre-dispositioned or dedicated to ultra-clean eating and aggressive exercise or all of the above, the 6 pack will elude you.

In some cases, depending on where you are starting from, a 6-pack won't ever happen naturally. It not pessimistic, it's realistic. Skin just doesn't bounce back the way you want it to, not when it's been stretched for so long. Ask any mom. Hope and wish and believe all you want, in many cases it won't happen without surgery. But I ask… who cares?

A bench press means you can lift a bunch of weight off your chest while laying down. You can generate some impressive short bursts of power. Invaluable if you are a defensive lineman or you happen to have a vehicle stuck on your chest. Although if I have a vehicle stuck on my chest I want to be able to throw it off of me not just raise it higher above my chest. Luckily, I'm not much of a super-hero so a car on my chest is not a typical hazard I face.

Another thing a bench press helps with is thickening up those pecs. 6-pack + swollen chest + no shirt at the beach = chicks. You can even do that muscly mating ritual with your dancing chest… left, right, left, right, left, left, right, right… 'hello, ladies'. So a bench press helps develop perky 'moobs' (man boobs). I concede, if you're a single guy, that's functional.

One of the major.. ok, probably the #1 reason, most people workout and try to eat better is to look good. The aesthetics; bumpy abs, broad chest, the cool vein down your bicep (I'm still working on all 3). Despite my making fun, there's really nothing wrong with that. (Unless you become an obsessive narcissist I guess.) What I am sensitive to is that misguided ideal.

When someone finally has the motivation to make a positive change and they begin their journey towards it, they focus on an unrealistic and ultimately meaningless vision of what they want. I am afraid that as they progress, as they work, as they achieve better health and a higher level of fitness they still get discouraged. They reach a self-imposed milestone and they don't see the results they expected. They don't see those 6 hard bumps, it's really just one bump with maybe a ripple or two and think they have come up short. And then they give up.

It's as if they become blinded by the glare of failure that they can't see that what they actually have done is far greater than washboard abs or finally out-benching their imaginary competition. Before they couldn't lift 20lbs, now they lift 40. They couldn't walk a mile, now they run 2. They ate a whole bag of chips for snack, now they eat a bowl of strawberries. They got winded walking up 4 flights of stairs, now they bound up two at a time. They wouldn't even watch the marathon, now they're in it. Their shirt size used to have an 'X' or two in it, now it doesn't.

They way I see it is this: When measuring the positive and healthy changes in your life, if your focus is on how good you feel, it will reflect in how good you look. Don't live by someone else's image, create your own.

Tragically absent

I'm ba-ack! Sort of. It's easy enough to say I've been a slacker with my writing lately, but I prefer say that I've been 'living the dream'. My objective has been to write about my journey into a more active and healthy lifestyle so it is a little ironic that I haven't been writing anything lately because... I've been living a more active and healthier lifestyle.

My prime writing times have traditionally been lazy weekend mornings or late nights on Mondays/Wednesday as I didn't have to get up early for the gym. As of about 3 weeks ago my wife Lynne and I have been going out for walks/runs on weekends (sometimes with kids) and just this past Sunday we went for our first bike ride. No more lazy AMs for us. Also in the last few weeks I have been getting up early on Tues/Thurs AM to run. No more late nights. The only negative, no more writing. (and I need the practice)

Lynne and I were just talking this AM about how things have changed in this past year for us. Last spring I dug my size 36 shorts out from the depths of the closet and squeezed myself into them. Last weekend we went shopping for new shorts and I surprisingly slipped into 32s. Lynne slipped her svelt self into sizes she didn't think she'd ever fit into again. (I won't publish her sizes cuz 1 - she's a girl and probably doesn't want me to and 2 - I'm a guy, I will probably get them wrong and end up in the dog house)

For all the hard work we put in at the gym, tweaking our routines at home and with food, overall, the experience itself wasn't difficult. Leading a healthier life is not hard to do. It's committing yourself to do it and finding what works for you that's hard. We each found things that we love to do, made it a priority and it just worked itself out. If you don't know what it is you'd love to do the one piece of advice I would give is to look outside your comfort zone. Don't be intimidated and don't allow yourself to say 'I'd never be able to do that'. If that's what you believe, then you've already failed. Pass the Cool Ranch Doritos please...

Just as we had to adjust our lifestyle to fit in exercise, I'll find a way to fit writing in again. With more activity I ought to have more material.

Just a few quick hits on a variety of topics:

I have an article for Tragically Fit about Trail/Ultra Running coming up as part of a new series of sports/activities. Every couple of weeks/months I will try something new, write about the sports and my experience with it. The articles will also profile an athlete or two (recreational, amateur or pro) to provide their story on what makes them 'tragically fit' and show how everyday people find ways to challenge and enjoy themselves. A few sports I am considering are cycling (road or mountain bike), kayaking, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and a few others. Suggestions for new stuff is more than welcome? Volunteers to be my 'ambassador' to the sport as well as a spotlight athlete are even better!

Recently watched Sugar - The Bitter Truth - excellent if you can find the time and can get past the 'sciencey' stuff. Shows an interesting link to sugar in our diets, how it correlates to the obesity epidemic and the metabolic syndrome. My biggest take away was not the issue with the sugar you know, it's the sugar you don't. If I choose to eat ice cream or eat a candy or drink a soda (even Diet), then I know what I am getting myself into. But sugar (High Fructose Corn Syrup especially) added to bread, peanut butter, fruit juice, cereal, low-fat processed snack foods etc etc... That's where I feel decieved. FYI - there is a difference between sugar in fruits and the sugar added to fruit juice or just about every other food we eat. Watch it and learn. If I have time to watch it again and summarize the major points I will.

One little bike ride and I am ready and willing to drop down some coin on a new bike! (Notice that I did not say 'able') I'm looking for cheap options. Road tires for my mountain bike, a cheap road bike, a hybrid or maybe a used Cyclocross bike?? I'll mostly do roads, typically with the family, but I want the option go fast and the durablity to go off road if I choose to.

I still want to watch Food Inc. Has anyone seen it? What did you think? Did it change anything for you?

Dedication vs Stupidity

Last week I asked where to draw the line between dedication and stupidity. At what point does one's dedication to their sport or activity cross the line to where they are exposing themselves to undue risk and maybe even jeopardize their ability to continue what it is that they enjoy so much?

If you are one of the handful of people that read my blog, you know I am not at risk for overdoing anything other than questioning what it is I am doing. So my question was posed to those of you that have that 'thing' you do. That thing, or maybe things, that you have such passion for it has become a compulsion. You don't just want to do it, it's an urge. But I want to know, when have you taken it too far?

Just to recap for those too lazy to click the link above, last Sunday, was a monsoon here in southern NH. I was set to go for my first legitimate trail run with my friend Chris. Through various texts while getting ready to go not so bright and pretty early in the morning, he suggested we postpone my inaugural run through the backwoods mostly due to my lack of gear for the terrain in conditions with a high suck factor. Although initially reluctant I finally succumbed to his logic as well as the call of my pillow.

When I 'woke up', so to speak, I had this sinking feeling that I wussed out. Well if Chris still went out was he taking it a bit far? Were conditions that bad or was I that mentally weak? Or with clocks jumping ahead an hour was Chris too exhausted to endure both the weather and my bitching and moaning if I couldn't hack it? Thanks for letting me down easy, Chris...

This was his official take on what transpired...

Chris:

haha....I decided. You were ready to go, which certainly does not make you a wuss. Here is my reasoning....as stated you are now just getting back into running. Sure, a quick jaunt over roads and you would have been fine, even in those miserable conditions. But on the trail we were hitting, you can run into the unexpected all the time (trail underwater and having to traverse over rocks or fallen trees, etc). And, you don't want to be in Nike frees. That would have been like running in wet socks (blister city). My goal was for you to enjoy your first time, wanting to come back for more. Maybe even spread the word on how awesome trail running is. Not sending you home with feet made out of hamburger, or rolled ankles from slippery rocks and roots (nike frees are not good in wet conditions, on that terrain). As a host, it would have been irresponsible for me to bring you out there without gear that keeps you semi dry, and upright on the trail (well most of the time with experience). Hence smart vs wuss. There are many ways to get a workout in, as you know. With that, a good reason for someone to get out in those conditions, is if they are training for a race or series of races. That is because you never know what you will get for weather on race day. Now don't get me wrong. Running in the rain, on trail, is a ton of fun. Let's just get that first run out of the way.

Plenty of logic and reason there, Chris, and I appreciate that you take your role as 'host' so seriously. My feet and ankles thank you. But I still had this ache that I let myself down. I figured if anyone would give me a constructive smackdown it would be Kevin. He didn't disappoint.

Kevin:

Reading this I get the sense that you feel like you should have gone for the run. In my opinion, not having sufficient gear is not an excuse to not go for a run. "Sufficient gear" is a modern phenomenon that enables more comfort for doing the same tasks that people have been doing forever without "sufficient gear".. People were running in rain and wind long before Nike and Gore-Tex…

There you have it… WUSS! Seriously though, it is quite true. It's not the gear that provides us the means to do these things. We already have the means. The gear provides comfort for sure, mostly to allow one the ability to perform at a level they otherwise would not have.

However, to Chris's point, the other intent is injury prevention. Whether it is cold weather gear that protects from extreme temps/frost-bite or water-proof trail shoes with better grip to avoid slips and ankle rolls while also preventing blisters, the intent is not only to make training safer and more accessible in any conditions, it is to keep training and enjoying our sports. Who wants to be sidelined with a sprain or slowed by never ending blisters? Nagging injuries due to poor preparation hurt worse than the ones that just happen despite your best efforts. You have that sense that it could have been prevented and it's your own fault that you're icing your ankle instead of riding your bike or playing basketball with the guys.

So what's the verdict? Well, despite the fact that I think not going for that trail run with Chris was the right decision, I still wussed out. Seeing as this would be my first run through mud and over rocks it would not have been smart. Could I have done it? Sure. Would I have been injured? Maybe. Would I have loved it? In a sick sort of way probably.. when it was over.

I wussed out because I did not seize the opportunity. I don't typically get up early on a Sunday, or any other day, and run. It's not part of my routine at the moment. But here I was out of bed and about to lace up my running shoes. I was ready to go. I wasn't just faced with a decision to trail run, I had the opportunity to push myself somewhere other than my bed and I didn't take it. Sure, maybe a trail would have been a questionable choice for me that morning, but I could have hacked the perfectly good roads right outside my door despite the wind and rain. Or I could have gone to the basement and put myself through some intense intervals instead. It's a challenge I didn't meet or even recognize. That's where my disappointment came from.

So are these 'nutjobs' on their bikes in mid-January dedicated or stupid? Well that depends on the conditions, their level of preparation and the rider. When the Jens Factor is high, the most dedicated cyclists will opt for riding the trainers in their garage instead of risking certain death. But the point is, when a limit is reached they don't pack it in. They adapt. In conditions most people don't even want to run to their car in, dedicated athletes suck it up and endure.

The latter portion of Kevin's comment brought it all together for me:

...I'm not going to call you a wuss. I might suggest that you're uncomfortable with your decision to bail on the run and that the next time you are confronted with the same decision you should get out there and do it. I admire the fact that you are questioning your decision. Too many people would have been more than happy with their decision to pull up the covers and "sit this one out". You clearly are not, and that's a good thing!

What I have learned is that it's about preparation and knowing the limits of safety as well as your own limits. The trouble is, not only do you have to be willing to find your limits, but you need to have the courage to reach them and redefine them whenever the opportunity presents itself.

That's enough

I've noticed that those who are truly passionate and committed to something know how to answer the question 'What's enough?' Look at those 'crazy' bikers or runners out there in the bone-chilling winter months or battling through a classic New England Nor'Easter. Those 'nutjobs' are out there because they know the answer. Although I wonder, do they even ask the question?

When faced with a late January freeze, many people will say it's too cold for a ride. A dedicated biker will say 'It's warm enough' as they slip on their thermal gear and hit the road.

As buckets of water pour from the sky, some may find themselves rolling over and tugging the blankets up tight to their chin, happy for the extra sleep. The passionate runner will say 'It's not wet enough' as they slip on their Gore-Tex and hit the trails.

You've probably heard the rationalizations from friends and co-workers, or it may even be your own; 'I didn't complete the workout but I think I did enough to work off the doughnut I had for breakfast.', 'I would have run more but I think that mile was enough, don't want to over do it you know.', 'I ate well enough today, I'll go with the meat-lover's pizza for dinner.'

I'm thinking if you have to convince yourself it's enough, it isn't. When you feel it's enough, you'll never question it.

Now with that said, where's the line between dedication and stupidity? This past Sunday I was supposed to go for an inaugural trail run with my friend Chris the super-ultra-runner. (Not his legal name) After a late night and a one hour 'spring ahead' imposed on the clock I stumbled out of bed raring to go.. ok, whimpering, but going nonetheless. Chris sends me a text asking about my rain gear. Huh? It's my inaugural trail run, I haven't invested in 'gear' aside from the shoes I have been using on the road 1-2 times a week for the last month. (Or is it 1-2 times in the last month?) I have some hiking shoes and a Gore-Tex ski jacket, but heavy shoes and a parka didn't seem like the sort of 'gear' I needed.

I reply that I have none but wasn't really thinking about it. I didn't want to 'wuss out' over some rain. In fairness, we were in the midst of one of those aforementioned Nor'Easters with strong winds and a steady stream of rain. Chris suggested we don't go if I don't have sufficient gear. 'There's a difference between being a wuss and being smart', he tells me... Fair enough, he's the super-ultra-runner that knows best, back to bed I went. But then today something occurred to me... I think he still went running. Who's a wuss now? Maybe it's just paranoia talking, or maybe it's my lack of facial hair that does it, but I am thinking that wuss is ME! Perhaps it wasn't just rain gear that I didn't have enough of. If I am asking the question, I must know the answer.